Former Bearcats tight end Travis Kelce left Clifton as the latest in a line of great Cincinnati tight ends. He landed with the Kansas City Chiefs, where his career has exploded. Now his public persona is following suit.
I’ve never personally met Travis, but I get the sense that he’s not putting on much of a show here. He’s the bursting-with-energy type of guy, and it only makes sense that he’s fulfilling his destiny as one of the sport’s greatest personalities.
Somehow, E! gave him his own reality dating competition featuring 50 women. It is going to be awesome, and I’ll be delivering hard-hitting analysis to you every week. Rather than turn every Watching Kelce recap into a 3,000-word essay, I’ll just hit the bullet points. Let’s roll.
Catching Kelce — Episode 1 Analysis & Observations:
- Right off the bat, it’s still goofy that a kid I used to walk past on campus has one of these ridiculous reality dating shows. Follow your dreams, people.
- Is the Travis singing thing supposed to be a joke? I can’t tell, because he’s kind of a good singer. He even did this Lonely Girl bit during his time at UC.
- Shooting this in LA is a major cop-out. Anyone would be willing to spend the summer in Los Angeles. Get these ladies out to Kansas City and let’s see what they’re really made of.
- Connecticut is already creepy. You didn’t have an “instant connection.” Slow down. Your general disposition does not lend itself well to a 60-second elimination challenge.
- Minnesota is a very aloof runner: Minus points. Evidently in love with her cat: Minus points. Cat’s name is Kevin: Plus points. Wasting your whole 60 seconds talking about a cat: Go home. Travis: “That was a little unfortunate. Got caught up in the ole cat story.” LOOOOOL.
- Travis is a genuinely funny dude. This show doesn’t deserve someone this funny.
- Pennsylvania is weird and also nearly dropped dead from nerves. I like it. Hopefully Travis keeps her around. Update: Or not.
- Oh, South Carolina. Hello.
- Oh, and Nevada. Hello.
- Not sure why New Jersey has a southern twang, but I’m here for it. Update: She can cook. Oooooooooh boy.
- Ugh, Connecticut gets to stay? #TeamAntiCT
- Ohio gets eliminated and is heading for an insightful comment before announcing her goal to date a professional baseball player. Classic. I respect the hustle. Look out, Joey Votto.
- I love Michigan so much at this point. Easily the most charming of the contestants.
- Wow. The red suit. It’s great and awful.
- I hope Jason Kelce is a regular on this show. He’s a good addition to balance things out.
- Okay, jokes aside, Connecticut is out of her mind. “If a girl cheated on you, would you ever go back? I don’t believe you.” Why would you call out somebody you just met?
- Not really feeling Minnesota, but I respect her. Not afraid to be super uncomfortable and awkward. She’s like a bull in a china shop with this group.
- Colorado, I love you.
- Minnesota is seriously outrageous and I can’t tell if I love it or hate it. She’ll never win the competition, but she’s incredibly entertaining. Also, I don’t think she knows how to pronounce “Kelce.”
- Georgia’s white dress for elimination is the absolute worst.
- Travis genuinely looks miserable sending these girls home.
- I really dislike Connecticut, but Michigan throwing her under the bus is a bad look. I think it nearly cost Miss MI a spot on the show. Thankfully she made the cut. I like her.
- Connecticut getting sent home is incredibly satisfying, especially considering that Travis went out of his way to say that he didn’t see the connection… after Miss CT spend the whole episode talking about it.
- WOOOOOOW RHODE ISLAND RESPONDED TO THE FRIEND ZONE THING BY GOING STRAIGHT FOR AN INTENSE KISS WHOOOOAH. IT’S ON, BOYS AND GIRLS.
- Rhode Island barely making the cut feels like a college football team narrowly avoiding upset to start the season before rumbling towards a national championship appearance. She was the last girl through, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see her make a run deep into the competition.
- Semi-ashamed to admit that I genuinely enjoyed this show. I came because Travis is a Bearcat, but I’ll be staying because he’s hilarious and this show is wildly entertaining.
- I feel like I could easily knock this competition down to three people right now. There’s a clearly-cut Top 3, in my eyes.
Official OhVarsity! Catching Kelce Top 5 (Week 1)
- New Jersey (Veronica) [5 total points]
- Colorado (Avery) [4 total points]
- Rhode Island (Victoria) [3 total points]
- Michigan (Ceecee) [2 total points]
- Minnesota (Anika) [1 total point]